PANIC

The_Panic_Room_Again

Well I was right to think of yesterday as the last day of summer because I spent today at school and then the gym. Just another typical day in the life of Pinya.

It’s a little sad actually that this is how I spent my last day of freedom. But when you think about it, we were never really free. We just had an extended time to play.

There was still school work and school thoughts happening the whole summer. The difference was that I could do it wherever and whenever I wanted to. I went to a lot of different states and a lot of camps this summer, and I met a lot of great people. But now it is time to return. And at some point you always have to return home.

Now that it’s the last moments of summer some may call it panic time. The time where you stress about getting everything ready for the next year. The time to cram all of that last summer work in. The time to question everything because you just can’t stand the idea of walking in blind.

Everyone will tell you to not stress, and to enjoy your last moments. But everyone has their panic moment anyway.

For me that was Sunday night actually. We got home at midnight so I guess it was actually Monday, and my siblings had orientation later in the day. That meant it would be the first time I would go to the school since the beginning of the summer.

That’s when it hit me; school starts in a few days.

Today at oreintation my friends and I have constantly had the same thoughts; we are about to start, but are we really ready?

I’ve been done with my summer work for about a week so finishing wasn’t the problem, but finishing what your told and being prepared aren’t the same things.

I would love to feel completely confident about tomorrow and to get to sleep at a reasonable hour so I can wake up early and start the year. However, I doubt that will happen.

I often get that feeling where I can’t go to bed because I just can’t stop thinking. I tell myself to stop, but my mind just keeps wandering. The problem is I love the thoughts I’m thinking sometimes, so I can’t stop them even when there are thoughts I would be fine with ignoring. With so much waiting in the future of a day, I know my thoughts tonight will wander like crazy. Some will be thoughts of panic, but lots will be thoughts of excitement and wonder  too.

The thing is that these thoughts often come together because they are both inspired by change and the unknown. 

If the changed and unknown are going to make me have thoughts of excitement and wonder that my mind loves to explore because I discover fascinating things, I’m okay with having to put up with the thoughts of panic.

So bring on the panic because I know it will lead to great things. I’m ready for it because my mentors have taught me to “be prepared for the turn of a century.”

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