Relieving Anxiety

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Tomorrow will be my last day of classes before the school year is over. Wow, I can’t believe how much has happened in just this one school year.

I actually find it a little funny because this is the first time since I can remember where I didn’t receive a physical award during the honors assembly, yet I feel like I accomplished so much and did more with the MVPS community then I ever have in the past.

Today in ID was one of my chances to talk about that learning because by the end of this week every member of ID will have given their very own MoVe talk, which is like the MVPS version of a Ted Talk. MoVe stands for “Moments of Visible Empathy” and the idea is that you are telling your story while trying to connect with the audience to leave them with a greater take away.

My talk was called “Thinking Like a Designer” and it was primarily inspired by my previous blog post from Mustang Rally day also called “Thinking Like a Designer“. This blog post represented a time when I realized I was subconsciously thinking like a designer in every day situations without a mentor coaching me through the process.

To further tell this story I talked about my journey in design thinking to how I actually got to this point. I also realized that I had come up with a sort of “recipe for success” in the process. With the key ingredients being:

  • Community Involvement
  • Mentor
  • Purpose
  • Bias Towards Action
  • Problems into Opportunities

And I also wanted to leave people with a question: “What if school was always based on these five ingredients?”

I thought my talk went rather well, but it was weird because for some reason I didn’t feel great about it. I didn’t have that “end of a show” feeling that I get sometimes after a big performance. I wish I knew why.

Maybe it was because I didn’t practice the newer version enough so it felt more project like then show like. Maybe I just was way too tired, which I know I was tired because I took an hour and a half nap in a very uncomfortable position after school. Maybe I’ve just been too stressed all week so now I’m still anxious because I feel like there is still so much to do and yet no time. Maybe I just got oddly subconscious about what other people thought of it for some reason.

Whatever the reason may be, I hope I figure it out so I can really feel good about the talk when I give it again (or at least a very similar version of it) at FUSE15.

Now I just wish I could finally get that refreshing feeling of calmness for even just a day, but I don’t think I’ll see that day for quite some time now. This year there was a change in the way I see work.

I’ve realized that I’ve gotten so involved where my work is never really done/ I chose for it to be this way by making the decision to want to do things despite the stereotype of not being able to do things until adulthood. I’m happy with this decision, but at the same time, I know I need to get better at balancing myself with not getting too focused on the stressful side of work. Maybe by this time next year I will have a better handle of that.

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