I can’t believe it, but I actually have hit over 365 blog posts!!!!!!!!!!! In theory if I had actually been blogging every single day, that would mean that I’ve officially made it through my first year of blog everyday!!!!! (The sad part to this story is that I was waiting for this day and new it was coming, then on Perfect Day when I hit 365 I totally forgot all about it.)
It’s hard to imagine that it’s been just a year since I started blogging. Time really does fly when you’re having fun!
I feel like everything is going to be so different next year. I’ll be an upper classman. I’ll be intensely prepping for college which is only 2 years away. There will be a second ID cohort. I will be taking an on level class. (I always feel kind of bad for saying this as a big change because I’m worried it makes me sound snooty or something like that, but I think this will be a significant change and it just keeps getting on my mind especially after nerd camp and spending 3 weeks with kids where school classes is heavily discussed and debated.) I’ll be the oldest MVPSAllStar participant. I’ll have a different school soccer coach. I’ll be co-leading our own collab-class. We’re opening a 2nd gym. I’ll be living in a new house. I just found out today at the ENT that I need to have surgery done on my nose because we’ve finally confirmed that there’s actually stuff wrong with it other than allergies, so that’s happening Labor Day weekend. And who knows what else may happen.
A lot can change in a year, and to be honest as a student I’m worried I’m going to get over whelmed for some reason. I mean it’s hard to not be considering how everyone’s always saying, “junior year is the hardest year,” and, “junior year is a ton of college stuff,” and, “junior year is overall just really important.”
And ya I get it, junior year is kind of a big deal, but why can’t I just learn and enjoy it? Why do I feel stressed when it’s still the middle of summer? Between TIP and just general talking to friends over the summer, everyone keeps talking about colleges they want to go to or what they want to. I don’t have a clear image of what either of those things look like. I haven’t considered this a problem in the past, but now it feels like everyone just expects you to know the answers to these questions and I don’t even feel prepared to begin to answer them. I remember after my MoVe Talk earlier this summer some people had asked about what my “big plans” were, and I don’t even remember my answer exactly, but I remember feeling like it didn’t fit right and it was overall just awkward for some reason.
I mean sure I’ve been to several college campuses, but I barely know about the colleges themselves because I’ve been as a participant, and I have hardly any idea of what type of college I want to go to. I couldn’t even tell you exactly what I should be comparing or choosing between. It reminds me of how when we were in San Francisco talking to this innovative little bike shop and they mentioned how they realized their customers were given too many choices which made the process more stressful for everyone.
Then comes the “what do you want to do” question. Well have I really been exposed to enough to even know my options? I mean I feel like I typically say that I want to do something in engineering, but I think part of that is because it’s one of the things I actually know exists and I don’t not want to do it. How might we, as students, be exposed to a wider variety of careers and actually experience them somehow?
Maybe I’m just that one odd ball that is having all of these thoughts and concerns, but what if I’m not? What if the reason so many people change their major (just staying small scale for now) so many times is because they don’t actually know what their options are and what those options mean?
I don’t even know where any of this came from tonight because it wasn’t at all what I had planned to blog about tonight. Why? What if? HMW? I just– I don’t know. I’m just thinking and wondering and getting confused and probably way over thinking (like usual).