Uncomfortable Moments


I noticed something rather important today. Important  because it was about myself and how I work and learn. I realized that I’m often in search of a plan.

A lot of people know that I am not the best person to go to when it comes to making final decisions. I’m perfectly happy with leading a team in a brainstorm session and the steps involved with narrowing an idea, but when it comes to that last decision I can often struggle and would prefer for someone else to make a suggestion first; thus, we work on teams so that our partners can complement us with those skills that we would consider weaker.

Rather than being the person to suggest that final decision “answer”, I’m often asking the questions like, “Ok, so what next? What needs to happen? How do we make this happen? Now what? What’s our plan to get this done?” This week I have found myself asking these questions more than usual which is how I came to realize how much I value having clear plans, even if the plan is vague like “today we will explore”, and I think that helps me learn better. I’m okay with changing plans, and rather flexible in that sense, but if we are going to change the plan, then I like to know why and quickly establish what the new plan is.

Sometimes it is good to be thinking about the future and what things need to be accomplish by asking those leading questions; however, there are also times where it would probably be better to be okay with the silence- okay with not having a plan. I think it’s in the moments without a plan where I get most uncomfortable actually, and I hope that now that I realize this I can better manage this tension for the future.

4 thoughts on “Uncomfortable Moments

    1. Ah yes, this is a good clarify point, also considering that I’ve now said this line from Beast on the Moon myself so many times.
      I’m perfectly ok with random, unexpected things happening. (That is practically how my family operates, like the time I went to NYC for a week with 30 minutes notice before driving to the airport.)
      I guess it’s more in a work sense that it bothers me to not have a plan. When there is something that my team knows we want to get done, but doesn’t have a plan on how to get it done, that’s when I get uncomfortable. If we have a task, I want to know how we plan on actually doing it rather than just sitting there are talking about it.

  1. I am so impressed with this post! You point out something you want to work on, and I think you are well on your way if you are able to identify it – it will make you more conscious of it in the future. I actually think the AP course you’re running with Emmy will help you in this area – in fact, I imagine much of this post stems from that discomfort you feel about deciding your plans there 😉

    I know you focus on “a tension you want to manage” in this post and it sounds like you want to get better at working without a plan or being more decisive…which is great! In addition, though, I actually saw your strength of Individualization shine through here. In a group, you are able to push people along, pull out ideas from others, and you’re great at leading others because of this strength. Be mindful of how to use that strength to help you get better at being okay making that final decision.

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