I’m Not a Professional

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Today was one of the rare occasion this year where I actually left school at the normal time because I was not needed in rehearsal or for anything else at school today.

So while I was waiting to get picked up I went and watched soccer for a little, and even though the girls team was only stretching while I was there, it made me miss soccer a lot. I haven’t played in forever! This is like the longest I’ve gone without playing since I was 3 I think and it’s just weird. I didn’t notice how much I missed it until I went outside on a nice day like this and was imagining, “aw it would feel so great to run around and play some…”

I know I’d get exhausted and sweaty and practice would be a butt with my throat in its current state of potentially sick and a bit of allergies, but I still would like to play again.

It’s annoying because I love soccer and want to play but in seems that anything you participate in during high school is expected to be like professional level commitment. I’m interested in a lot of different things, and I love just trying stuff out and having fun exploring curiosities; however, I do not have the time to participate in all of my curiosities at a professional level.

I hear schools around the world talk about “having room to fail” or “having the space to explore curiosities” or “having built out time in the day for relaxing time.” However sometimes I question how much these phrases are put into practice. My best friend put it great when she said,

“It feels like we have to involve ourselves in everything so deeply in high school and nothing is just for kicks anymore.”

We aren’t professionals, and not all of us want to be professionals. For those of us that don’t know, how do we start figuring it out if we don’t have times to just try out new things.

During our “free time” a lot of people have meetings or make up quizzes or tutorials to get to. We had to discuss in a cappella today about how we plan on continuing since we never have everyone there and it just reminded me of how busy we are, but those of us that truly care find the time. Even during our break/club time on Monday’s and Friday’s most of us just get ready for the next class and talk a little, which is fun, but I wonder what it would be like if we had to go outside- like in middle school.

Personally I feel like I never see the sun anymore because I’m in the school building from 7:30am-6pm just about everyday. Today was so pretty outside and I would have missed it. I don’t want to miss it but I struggle to get myself out there.

Among other things, I wish we had intramural sports teams. A place for people that want to try something new or just want to have some fun doing something they love without giving it a full time commitment. I don’t have the time for soccer every day for 3 hours after school, but I’d love if we had little scrimmages maybe on a Saturday or around 6 once a weeknight.

Not everything you do has to be all about winning. Why can’t some things just be for fun? I happen to know several girls quit the soccer team this year because they noticed from the start that it was more intense then they wanted. I respect deeply those players that want to get really good at honing their skills so they can win some games and maybe go to the playoffs, but I also know there are some girls who don’t make the team or who simply don’t want the same things from the sport and I wish there was space for us to still have fun doing something we love.

The natural thing I think to myself after rereading this post, as if it wasn’t me who wrote it, would be to say “Well that’s going to take extra people and organizing and equipment, but why don’t you try to start?” The thing is, I don’t have the time to do work on that endeavor, so for now I just get to be a little upset and through out my ideas on my blog. Story of my life.

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