“I’m Fine” Live Read Through

At the end of Junior year I had an idea about how I wanted to end my last theater season with the MVPAllstars. For my last year I really wanted to do a powerful show that left the audience contemplating life as they walked away.

A show like this requires a certain type of experienced cast though, so who better to perform it than all of the senior members of the Thespian Society?

I then talked to each of the other five senior Thespians at the end of last year about this idea of mine and everyone agreed, so to make sure we got this last theater moment, we formed “The Senior Theater Project.” Since the end of our junior year, the six senior Thespians have been working on writing, directing, and performing our own show and with first semester now over, I thought it was a good time to reflect on the progress so far.

Semester one was really focused on writing the script. We knew that we wanted a theme around identity, and after some summer interview work we were able to develop a clearer vision during our first semester meeting. The show is about the struggles that students face that don’t really get discussed at school or on social media; the idea is to demonstrate how much goes on in students lives that we don’t always know about.

At the end of first semester we had a live read through of our script in order to gain feedback about our story thus far. This was a hard goal to meet-having an entire script done to a point where we could share with an audience-and we even knew that it wasn’t finished when we presented; however, I’ve learned over the years how important it is to get feedback early on if you want the best possible final product.

Our team was working until the last second, literally creating the title, “I’m Fine,” for the show about 30 minutes before going on stage. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a complete story that made sense, and the feedback was amazing!

Everyone in attendance seemed to really enjoy the show and where it is headed, and on top of boosting our confidence, they also provided helpful feedback about things that they still didn’t quite understand and suggestions for our next edits. It was useful having outside people give feedback on our show, because those of us who have been writing the script have been so involved in the world of the show that we don’t know sometimes if we are showing enough backstory on parts of the story and characters.

Since then we have been continuing to meet and plan because we officially have less than 20 days of rehearsal left before we perform the show in full! It’s been a crazy process so far, and it’s insane to think how little time we have left. While the show doesn’t go on stage until April, we only meet once a week until two weeks before preview night so we’ve been trying to think through everything from blocking to set building to our photo shoot. (Sometimes I forget just how many little things have to happen for a show to be put on stage, but being the director and co-writer of a show makes that impossible to forget…)

However, despite how stressful it’s been at times to try to work on our show on top of school, college, and other theater productions, we all know that come this April when we take those last bows, it will all have been worth it. To be able to say that we created our own show and it actually went well, will be amazing! It’ll be even more amazing knowing how much work we have put into this brain baby of ours.

The Future is Here

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For the past four years, and even longer than that really, the year 2017 has been talked about as this mystical year in the future. This great year that we’ve worked so hard to get to. The year I turn 18. The year I graduate high school. The year I go to college. The year so much changes.

It’s always seemed so far away; a distant future. The end of the line and the beginning of a new era.

Now it’s only hours away.

2017, the year of my future is so close I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I turn 18 in a mere two days and I graduate in a few months and I go to college in less than a year. So much is about to happen in my life, so much that has been talked about for all of the years of my existence.

Everything has always been “leading to 2017”- well now it’s here and not slowing down.

First semester has gone by so fast. Life has been crazy to say the least. Between home, school, work, and friends there has been a lot going on. (So much that I’ve not been able to blog nearly as much as I’ve wanted due to so many late nights…)

I’m told that second semester goes by even faster for seniors. After accounting for breaks, trips and events, and senior work days, there are hardly any school days left for seniors. Graduation is just around the corner and sometimes I feel incredibly ready, and other times I feel incredibly not.

But 2017 will come all the same. It is here. It is now. It is time. Image result for 2017

Time for 2016 to be over and time for things to start changing. The new year is here; class of 2017, good luck, because our future has arrived.

 

Sometimes We Need a Retreat

CrCWoiyW8AAPE1J.jpgIt’s been a long week for me, and one that was blog-less. A lot of things have been happening in life not just for me but for several of my friends as well which has created some extra stress, so I think it was good to retreat from blogging.

And it was great to have our senior retreat this past Sunday-Monday! We desperately needed a break from the world. My grade is honestly just wonderful; I couldn’t imagine a better group of peers to have gone through high school with. I love how everyone get’s along so well and we all feel comfortable with each other enough to start conversations with anyone. It makes team challenges way more fun and successful which I always think is a plus.

Though we did less activities than past retreats- swimming in a wave pool and paint ball this time- the trip as a whole was exceedingly meaningful to every senior at our school.CrDzAPtVYAAIVCE-1.jpg

There is one particular activity we did as sophomores that we did again now as seniors that was heart wrenching both times, which we just call “circle time.” We pick our own small group of people to go out anywhere around the site, then we sit in a circle with one person in the middle. That person then goes around and every person on the outside says something they appreshiate about the inside person that just needs to be shared.

As sophomores, this activity meant the world to my friend group. The next 3 years of high school were strongly built on the moments we shared in that circle.

As seniors, some people were almost in tears before we even started; just the thought of the love that was about to be shared between family (we’ve long passed mere friendship) was enough to cry happy tears about for the past, and sad tears for a future not as connected to each other.

Everyone was a happy mess by the end of the night. And as we circled around the Cq_2WBkWEAAlX1e.jpgcampfire, gazing at the stars and each other by the light of the fire, everyone left their own hopes and burdens aside, if only for a moment, to appreshiate the community of support we’ve built up over the past 4 years.

Sometimes you just need to have those deep, thoughtful, and appreciative conversations with others. We all just need a break sometimes. Time to let go of all of the stress if even just for a moment, and to appreshiate the supportive people around us that inspire us to be better humans each and everyday.

Our senior class bonded in ways unmeasurable by any school scale in these past few days. We were already close, but this retreat was well needed and invaluable. To think that we almost didn’t have this retreat (this year only seniors got a retreat) is inconceivable because I can’t describe just how much it meant to all of us. Everyone came home and started texting on the group chat we created for all of the Cq_NKBDXEAU-3zg.jpgseniors about how we loved the trip so much that we want to plan another for later in the year; even if not school related, most of the grade is interested in going camping, or having some sort of all senior retreat part 2.

Retreats are something everyone needs every now and then. I’m so glad that our grade got the opportunity to go on a retreat every year of high school because each one meant so much to me. They were some of the high lights of each year because they were moments where my friendships strengthened in ways I couldn’t imagine possible. I’m so grateful for our teachers who fought for us to keep this tradition alive at least for seniors; I already know it will be a notable moment for the entire year still ahead of us.

One Last Time

CqOTaazWEAA8wH8.jpgSenior year has a lot of exciting moments, but there are also a serious of emotionally sad moments because in order for us to embark on a sea of new adventures, we have to sail away from our home land. We have to say good bye.

Senior year is full of “Aww this is our last ______!” So far we’ve had our last first day, last time reading the same syllabus we’ve grown up with, last first chapel, and just today was our last Convocation.

CqOSnBeWIAEu0qg.jpgConvocation is a time when the entire school comes together to listen to a few speeches focused on getting us into a collective mindset to help us tackle the year ahead of us. To be honest, while it’s a great ideology and concept to bring everyone together, from a student’s perspective one of the take aways I hear people say every year is, “Ow my back hurts so much from sitting on the gym floor for so long!” It’s kind of sad that this is the biggest take away, but without a doubt it happens every year. Though, at least during the event everyone sings during the praise band portion and cheers when their grade is called (especially the senior class). We’re also always very supportive of our student speakers, because every one knows that an audience of your peers is the hardest to perform in front of.

What I’ve realized though is that not all last moments during senior year are particularly sad ones. For example, no one was too emotional much about our last convocation. And yet, it’s still weird to process that these are some of our last timesCqOxf4VWIAAvEC3.jpg at some of these events or having some of these experiences. We have one last year, one last time to imprint a little of ourselves into the community around us. I wonder our legacy will be. When people think back to the class of 2017 what’ll they remember? What do we want them to remember?

For one thing our class is highly collaborative. Currently we even have a group chat with just about everyone in the grade on it. Plus in the past we’ve been known for making intense and well organized study guides with a bunch of people collaborating on them. The way our class bonds together always makes me happy and I definitely think it makes our grade better off when working together so often. But I wonder if that’s how we’ll be remembered. I hope we’re remembered. A legacy is important to me, though I haven’t thought deeply enough on the topic to understand why quite yet. I guess it’s because in order to be remembered you had to have made an impact.

 

(Side note: This post’s title and theme was highly inspired by Hamilton the Musical. I just can’t help but think of the Hamilton song “One Last Time” when thinking about senior year because it’s all about George Washington deciding to step down from being president and telling Hamilton that he needs to teach the people how to say goodbye.)

Starting Strong

images.jpgToday was spectacular!!!! I just had such a good day in general! From the first day of senior year with all of the senior privileges and enjoying all of my classes so far, to having my first acro practice which is now for a full 2 hours rather than what ended up being 45 minutes, everything seemed so smooth and fun. I know things won’t stay this way for long, but I’ll take what I can get and milk it for all that it’s worth!

I love it when things just work out in a way you were hoping for. It’s a pleasant change from the normal insanity of life.

 

Senior Bootcamp

I’m officially starting to feel like a senior after our first Senior Bootcamp day of the year. I don’t know what that means quite yet, but I guess calling myself a senior seems a little less weird. 

There’s no exclamation point after either of those sentences because I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I actually really enjoy most parts of school, which not every student can say honestly. So it makes me sad in a way to be a senior because I don’t feel ready to leave just yet. I feel like there is so much more I’d like to do and contribute to the school community, but mostly I feel like so much of the excitement about some of what I do is just because I’m a high schooler. What happens when I stop being a high schooler?

Plus on top of that there is the whole application process, which honestly frightens me…

I know it shouldn’t be that scary, but it seems like I’m just constantly learning more things that I don’t know. I don’t like the feeling of feeling like I don’t know everything about what I’m working on. I definitely learned more today at bootcamp where we discussed everything from the nuts and bolts of how to use different websites to discussing the art of storytelling and how everyone has their own story for an essay.

In short, there was a lot talked about today from 8-3 with the class of 2017, and also a lot of laughs too which is good. Yet, there seem to be so many unknowns still.

I am excited for this next school year, but the whole “being a senior” part only kind of excites me. I am terrified for that moment when I start loosing my motivation. I know it happens to pretty much every senior because the end of the school year after being accepted just seems to stop being so important. As one of my friends who graduated said, “You’ll want to continue to do well but you won’t want to have to work for it.”

I’d like to say that I’ll be the person to not fall into that stereotype, but who knows. I already wish so much of school, and sadly a huge current motivator for half of it just has to do with getting into college; and I love learning, but that doesn’t change much.  I don’t want to loose motivation, but what if I do? What if my drive leaves? What is my motivator to do well in school? Not theater, ID, band, extra projects, or those kind of things, but just the nuts and bolts of school: classes.

These are the questions I wonder while going into my senior year after a day of learning about the college process.