There’s only so much that can be covered up with flashy lights and crazy tricks. Performers are storytellers and sometimes the artist can only take the story so far; at the end of the day, you also need to have a good story for the performance to truly be worthwhile.
Broadway right now has a lot of flashy shows with big fan followings and it just seems odd and almost a little sad to me. I want more original stories. Don’t get me wrong I saw Frozen in theaters 3 times and thought the musical version was a pretty good adaptation, and I’m still wanting really badly to see Mean Girls the Musical; however, I miss being surprised by a totally original story. No gimmicks, just good old fashion storytelling.
Today I saw SpongeBob the Musical, and somewhat to my expectation, it was a bit too gimmicky for me. The cast had some really impressive actors and vocalist who I appreciated very much for their efforts, but unfortunately, I don’t think the storyline did their talents justice. The set and costumes were also very intricate and fascinating to see, and I feel like I’d almost suggest seeing the show just for the sake of experiencing everything technical that somehow get’s pulled off. At the end of the day though, I just really wish there could have been more substance to the show. It was pretty one level the whole time and I didn’t find myself connecting to the characters or story, which you don’t always notice during the show with everything going on, but afterwards your like “eh,” and that’s never a great way to feel at the end of a performance.
I’m excited to see more shows that I don’t know that much about later this week and then when I’m back in town two weeks from now. I really appreciate how fortunate I am to get to see so many shows. I know I can be a little judgy sometimes when it comes to theater productions, especially with so much of my family being in this business, but it’s just because I value the art of storytelling and feel the need to give my honest opinions on the shows I see.
I was having a conversation with one of my aunts the other day about how someone tried saying, “Isn’t the theater suppose to be a safe place?” In actuality, though it’s almost the exact opposite. Theater that doesn’t challenge ideas, beliefs, and/or opinions is typically the boring kind. The theater is all about making big and bold statements that make you think and question; safe statements don’t tend to leave you thinking or questioning your core values. Theater is “safe to challenge,” it’s a safe bet that anything and everything might be said and you have to be okay with the fact that you might not always be comfortable; that’s the best part is when you leave with your mind blown.
Today I heard a former classmate of mine say that after 12 years of schooling he found himself not having any skills marketable for applying to the workforce as much more than a dishwasher.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
I mean the time old story of school is that it was established during the industrial revolution in order to prepare kids for the workforce. That is supposedly the mission of a traditional school system: “to prepare kids for the workforce.” However, the irony is that apparently, the traditional system isn’t even a good job at that anymore.
Joining the workforce no longer means being prepared to work on an assembly line day in and day out. The world has changed. Jobs are changing. Schools need to change and maybe so should their purpose; life is more than just work.
I want to be prepared beyond the workforce.
From brainstorms to rainstorms, it’s been a day.
I feel like I’ve been going non-stop from 6:30am until now which I haven’t done in a very long time. My day started with a 3.5-hour brainstorming vision meeting this morning, then teaching at Paideia, then coaching at the gym, then ended with getting dragged along to a baseball game that got stormed out without starting.
I’m not very wet and very tired.
I don’t know how I use to maintain this kind of stamina in high school. It’s crazy to think this use to be a norm for me of getting up at 6:30 and going to bed at midnight with so much in between. Now I wake up between 8:20-10 typically and I always feel so much more well rested to the point where now I especially just can’t handle early mornings.
It’s crazy what we expect high school students to cram all into one day. That’s not even getting started with diving into the topic of how much content we try to cram into every hour, day, semester, year, etc. Who said in just 4 years so much has to be learned and decided on?
With hardly more than a week left of classes, we’ve officially reached that point in the year.
Studying all day, sleeping little at night, and stress levels so high you’d think I’d been in a fight.
It’s the final countdown of my first year in college, and today that hit me hard. My final tests of the semester are all coming up in the next few days and it’s truly exhausting on top of homework, job work, and preparing for summer work.
I hate how this always happens where the schedules of classes line up to where there’s always that one week of the semester that feels like hell broke loose and everything’s happening at once in a crazy tiring mess.
Honestly the last days leading up to finals are often worse than finals themselves. During finals, we get a break from all the other work and we can just focus on the exams themselves, but the days leading up we’re trying to study for finals and take the last tests and still deal with all of the other “normal” stuff.
Plus on top of all that, it’s the make it or break it time for grades. I hate stressing about grades, but considering my scholarship is dependent on my ability to keep above a certain GPA, it’s hard not to. I despise that college grades are so heavily based on just a mere few tests, (especially since I’m not a great test taker) and today involved a lot of freaking out about where my grades are at this point and what I need on my last tests and finals if I hope to get the grades I want.
So close to a break…
Today was a pretty productive day for me. After taking my dogs to the dog park I basically worked on college short answer/supplementary essays all day. I answered 9 questions which only leaves me with one 150-250 word question left!!!
So with all of the writing I did today, I’m now not in much of a blogging mood, but I wanted to still put something up. So here is my college process metaphor:
The college process is like a treadmill; no matter how much you walk, you never really move anywhere. That’s pretty much how trying to fill out applications feels. I’ve worked through so much today, and yet nothing is done or finalized and some of it is not even the right length; therefore, there is still much work to be done even after a day of writing.
Over the summer is always a weird time with trying to say what grade your in. Every year you’re like “well I just finished 8th grade, but I’m not really a freshman yet,” etc. However, once you graduate junior year, it’s like that next second you all of a sudden become a senior. Poof. Abracadabra. Magic. Just like that you’re told you’re older with all of these new responsibilities that you have to start figuring out.
Now that I’m apparently a senior, I get asked all of the time “where do you want to go to college,” which seems like a seems like a simple enough question; wrong. It’s a question full of confusion and hope and stress and excitement and at this point just hard to answer. Yet today alone I think it came up 3 times for me.
Sometimes what frustrates me is that it seems like everyone’s always looking too far in the future. Yes college is a big part of some people’s lives and a big decision and all, but what about this whole year I still have in front of me? What about the more immediate future? I’m just as confused and hopefully and stressed and excited about my present future as I am about my future future, but one is much more right in front of me. Yet once you become a senior it seems that people stop asking about your present future and trying to help you plan for exciting things we can do right now in our life.
I mean just within this past week alone I’ve had my first MVPS Strategic Planning meeting, Kat and I are talking to a school taking first steps towards 21st century education about our AP Lang course tomorrow, and then fuse16 is Wednesday-Friday this week! There are so many exciting things right in front of me before college! And there are so many possibilities of things I can accomplish just next year!
High school, middle school, even elementary school students have amazing capabilities and potential just at the age they are right now. I think talking about college bugs me so much sometimes because some people seem to make it seem like we have to wait to have the “time of our life” until we get to college. I want next year to be amazing and big and exciting and impactful and I don’t want to spend all year just talking about the future future; I want to spend more time focusing on the present future because that matters too.
I haven’t posted in a very long time, and it’s just been the two busiest weeks of the year for me: performing Shrek the Musical (which went amazingly well!!!!), iFest 2016 (the time where all of the high school showcases their year long project based learning and ID always has some of our work set up to talk about), having interviews for prefect positions (it’s like our student government for the entire school which is a step above our student council), having 4 of the biggest tests of the year, working on college essay drafts, having weird schedules for Prom yesterday, getting ready for performing The Lion King this coming week, trying to get experiments done in ID with middle schoolers, plus on top of everything this weekend 4 of us in ID are participating at “Creative Hack Weekend” with #re-imagine/atl where we worked for 6 hours today and 4 hours tomorrow on problem solving issues in Atlanta.
That was a horrible run on-sentence I know, but it was a loooong two weeks. I was stressed, I am tired, and yet I still had a lot of fun; that’s the story of my life (“oh ya”#shrekpuns ).
I feel like stories have been kind of the theme of the last 2 weeks even more than normal.
Particularly I’ve been a tad disgruntled about thinking about my college essay because with the amount of stories I’ve told in this week alone about my life, it just feels so hard to only get to write one story for colleges to read. There is so much more to a person than one essay about them and it’s not like you can just summarize everything about you in that essay because then it’s a bad essay because it isn’t specific. However, that means we have the daunting task of narrowing our life story down to just one specific moment which now has to become “the moment” in you life, and yet we are only 17…
In person it typically feels easy for me to semi-subtly bring up various things that I’ve done and ideas I have about my future based on my experiences, but in writing it is much harder to choose what to say because you have so much time just to think and ponder and everything comes to mind. There are just so many stories out there to tell, and as many different ways to tell them; and this is only the end of the beginning because even just this school year isn’t over yet!
I write the following as a voice for the general population of high school students currently going through the college process. Not all of the feelings expressed below I have personally experienced, but for every feeling expressed I know of at least one individual who has experienced that particular feeling.
I hate standardized tests- no, I loath them. I believe I’ve made this clear in the past, but today I think I discovered my biggest issue with them. It isn’t that it takes up a whole Saturday morning of my time, or that I have to fill in multiple choice questions for hours, or that people can guess and make better scores, or that the questions are trying to trick you, or that the testing environment is dour, or that writing an essay in 20 minutes is a pain, or even just the fact that colleges weigh these arguably meaningless numbers so heavily in the admissions process. What bothers me so sticking much about standardized tests, more specifically the SAT and ACT, is that they make you feel depressed and alone.
Stories are always being told about teenagers having a hard time in high school do to various social aspects that make them feel bad about themselves: body image, bulling, struggling in school, family issues, friend drama, “who likes who,” etc. In fact, over 2.1 million teens have reported having a major depression incident in the past year, and depression is the number one cause of suicide- the third leading cause of death for Americans 15-24.
Depression is already a serious problem amongst adolescents and standardized tests only make matters worse.
The problem is that there is no good option for someone to talk to about the stressfulness of the process.
You want to talk to your friends, because you tell each other everything. However, if you talk to your friends you end up in a bad position no matter how you look at it because of this truth: one of you scored better than the other.
I’ve never met any two people that have gotten the exact same score in every area of the SAT or ACT every time they took it, meaning there must be some difference upon which you will compare yourselves. You don’t want to compare yourself to your friends, but it is human nature to think, “Why are we not the same?” We are naturally curious and sometimes the cat isn’t the only one who dies from curiosity.
If you talk to your friend that did better than you, then you feel bad about yourself because you wonder why you didn’t do as well. Then you fear that you won’t get into colleges you want to get in to because you didn’t score well enough. Then you will just get upset about the whole process and a little bit upset with your friend because while you are happy they did well, you are upset that they did better than you. (It’s the same as playing your friend in a soccer game and having mixed emotions when they score, because you’re happy to see them happy, but you’re still losing on the board. Even if you both had fun in your hearts, virtually no one cares about that when the question of, “Who won the game?,” is asked.)
On the other hand, if you talk to your friend that you did better than, then you still end up in a bad position. You then get put in the awkward situation where your friend is the one feeling upset about not doing great, and they think they didn’t do great because of comparing it to other people; you are one of those people… You want to tell your friend that it will be fine and give them advice, because that’s what friends do, but at the same time you still feel like you could do better yourself and then it makes you feel weird about complaining even though you technically scored higher. The problem is while you and your friends may understand that you should only compare your scores to yourself and how well you think you can do, to some level you still know that you are up against millions of kids in the country for a spot at certain schools and test scores still play a large part at deciding who gets in.
As many times as I tell myself, or others tell me, “You don’t need to worry so much about test scores because there are a myriad of other factors about you that play into why you are a good college candidate,” it doesn’t mean I don’t care about the scores still. I try so hard to think past them, but I know for a fact that many schools still just need a way to narrow down the lot, and even if I’m not applying to those schools I feel bad for my friends who are because it just seems so wrong. And yet again, some friends don’t care about it being wrong, they just see it as the way life is, and so if this topic is brought up it is yet another uncomfortable situation to talk to even the closet of friends about.
Bringing up test scores with friends simply never ends well. No one want to talk about it. Someone always feels weird because they scored higher and are trying to act humble. Many always feels bad because they don’t feel like they are doing as well as they should be. And everyone feels awkward. For these reasons, I don’t think any group of friends ever feels truly open when having a test scores conversations, and I say this having been on multiple sides of this conversation and hearing side rants from many others.
Now any adult I’m close with is probably reading this post right now thinking, “You can always talk to me!” But the other truth is that teens simply don’t want to talk to adults about this kind of thing for the simple and debatable reason that, “They won’t understand.” I hate to say it because it just feels so “teenagery”, but I know in my heart I believe it to some degree. Adults in our lives took these standardized tests many years ago, so the stress from these tests and the entirety of the college process is not as recent. Plus a lot has changed in those years. The question use to be “Are you going to college?” and now it is, “Where are you going for college?” Every generation kids get smarter and the average test score raises and thus the race to college gets even closer, making it more and more stressful. I don’t want to talk to adults because they all tell me the same thing, “Don’t stress about it.” Telling a person to not be stressed is like telling an alcoholic “Just stop drinking”; words alone can’t really help fix the problem at this point.
When you can’t talk to friends completely honestly, and you don’t want to talk to adults, it just makes everything more stressful and you feel as if there is no one to truly talk to. In fact I ended up ranting to a younger friend of mine today because I just needed someone to get this out to, but even that wasn’t satisfactory because they had no experience to relate to which made it very one sided. Now I wouldn’t say I’m depressed, but I definitely get frustrated when I think I can do better and even after lots of studying have a very small change in my score. And then more stressed and annoyed when trying to talk to others about my frustration.
With the amount of teens that drive themselves crazy over testing, I wish we would just change the system already. There is always something that can be done, no matter how small of a change. Clearly there is a problem, and while I think the new SAT is moving in a good direction, I don’t think this change will change any stress related to scores.
What I wonder is if there is a way to have the test score based on improvement somehow. What if we could measure how much a student has improved/how much they have learned from the time they were a freshman to a senior and that was the number sent to colleges? This way students were being compared based on how hard they personally worked in order to learn more.
To try and explain this further, take math on the SAT for an example. It is honestly is a lot of stuff I did in 8th grade, like geometry questions. However, some kids were learning that just last year. What if after 8th grade I just stopped caring in math? (Which isn’t true because I happen to love math and love learning about it, but this is hypothetical.) What if I knew I learned all I needed to know for the SAT, so after that I didn’t really try to learn much new and just memorized and regurgitated for tests at school? If that was me I wouldn’t be able to say I really grew much between being a freshman and a senior, but I could potentially score just as high as the kid who went from barely knowing how to do long division to then acing pre calculus- a much larger knowledge gap that had to be overcome. Yet, standardized testing does not currently account for how far you have come, only where you are at the end. I find this kind of unfair actually because everyone has different situations that they are put in, so by the nature of standardized testing, some people are given a better opportunity at doing well and you as a student have no control over that.
I don’t believe this is true today, but I hope for this to be possible someday: Students should have full control over their chance at getting into the college of their choice.
I don’t know how any of this would work, but I know something needs to change because standardized tests make too many students way too stressed which isn’t good for health.
I’m sick of this struggle and don’t know what to do, which is why I write, so maybe something good comes from it.
Today was one of the rare occasion this year where I actually left school at the normal time because I was not needed in rehearsal or for anything else at school today.
So while I was waiting to get picked up I went and watched soccer for a little, and even though the girls team was only stretching while I was there, it made me miss soccer a lot. I haven’t played in forever! This is like the longest I’ve gone without playing since I was 3 I think and it’s just weird. I didn’t notice how much I missed it until I went outside on a nice day like this and was imagining, “aw it would feel so great to run around and play some…”
I know I’d get exhausted and sweaty and practice would be a butt with my throat in its current state of potentially sick and a bit of allergies, but I still would like to play again.
It’s annoying because I love soccer and want to play but in seems that anything you participate in during high school is expected to be like professional level commitment. I’m interested in a lot of different things, and I love just trying stuff out and having fun exploring curiosities; however, I do not have the time to participate in all of my curiosities at a professional level.
I hear schools around the world talk about “having room to fail” or “having the space to explore curiosities” or “having built out time in the day for relaxing time.” However sometimes I question how much these phrases are put into practice. My best friend put it great when she said,
“It feels like we have to involve ourselves in everything so deeply in high school and nothing is just for kicks anymore.”
We aren’t professionals, and not all of us want to be professionals. For those of us that don’t know, how do we start figuring it out if we don’t have times to just try out new things.
During our “free time” a lot of people have meetings or make up quizzes or tutorials to get to. We had to discuss in a cappella today about how we plan on continuing since we never have everyone there and it just reminded me of how busy we are, but those of us that truly care find the time. Even during our break/club time on Monday’s and Friday’s most of us just get ready for the next class and talk a little, which is fun, but I wonder what it would be like if we had to go outside- like in middle school.
Personally I feel like I never see the sun anymore because I’m in the school building from 7:30am-6pm just about everyday. Today was so pretty outside and I would have missed it. I don’t want to miss it but I struggle to get myself out there.
Among other things, I wish we had intramural sports teams. A place for people that want to try something new or just want to have some fun doing something they love without giving it a full time commitment. I don’t have the time for soccer every day for 3 hours after school, but I’d love if we had little scrimmages maybe on a Saturday or around 6 once a weeknight.
Not everything you do has to be all about winning. Why can’t some things just be for fun? I happen to know several girls quit the soccer team this year because they noticed from the start that it was more intense then they wanted. I respect deeply those players that want to get really good at honing their skills so they can win some games and maybe go to the playoffs, but I also know there are some girls who don’t make the team or who simply don’t want the same things from the sport and I wish there was space for us to still have fun doing something we love.
The natural thing I think to myself after rereading this post, as if it wasn’t me who wrote it, would be to say “Well that’s going to take extra people and organizing and equipment, but why don’t you try to start?” The thing is, I don’t have the time to do work on that endeavor, so for now I just get to be a little upset and through out my ideas on my blog. Story of my life.