From Fear to Greatness

Being a coach 100% makes me a better educator.

I understand the worry that comes along with the responsibility of teaching and training kids.

The wonder about if you’re good enough to be leading them. The confusion when you can’t put well to words what you want from them. The sadness that comes when you see a child that looks as if she is going to burst into tears over a comment you made when all you were doing was trying to give constructive feedback. The actual tears you see sometimes…

Then there is the ever-present challenge of keeping up with new times, new drills, and new standards of excellence. That moment when you learn a level has completely changed their expectations for an event and you get vexed beyond belief because for the past few years you’ve been leading the kids entering this level down an entirely different path. Then you try to throw in some new drills into your class and you’re thinking it’ll be great – just like how you saw it at that conference you attended!- but it never is. Instead, the kids try out your new drill and it just looks all wrong, so you try to make corrects but can’t tell if it’s even worth continuing with this new drill. Did I explain it poorly? Am I not remembering the technique right? Was it too advanced for their skill level? Did I push them too far too fast? Or do they just need to get in more repetitions? Well now we’ve used up all of our time on this event today and I don’t even know if I just wasted the last 45 minutes or am making progress in a great new area that we’ve not trained as effectively before.

Honestly, time is the worst. Do you spend a little time on every event today, or do the kids really need to focus on just one event they’re weak at? Do I even have this option? Is today’s schedule set in stone because there are too many different groups moving around or do I have flexibility with my time? How do we balance learning new skills while also practising their routines necessary for the next competition? When is there next competition anyway; are they really ready for it? Am I wasting time explaining so many directions? Should I be doing our normal warm-up for consistency and time effectiveness or mixing it up so different skills are worked? Does it take more time to set up these stations then they’re worth doing? How much time is left before we have to rotate? What happens when they come to this event with a different leader next time and the kids get confused with new directions and expectations? Are the kids progressing at a reasonable pace? Is anyone falling behind? Is anyone being held back?

So ya, I can empathize with teachers. I know all of those worries and concerns and feel them while maybe not daily, at least bi-weekly, but I’m often thinking about this work much more often than just while I’m in the gym. Half of the time I ride Marta I’m listening to potential gymnastics music or choreographing new routines based on the skills I know kids have/expect them to have come performance time.

While I understand and constantly am faced with these concerns, I also can respect the bigger picture. USA Gymnastics completely changed lower level vaulting progressions this year. It’s a pain in the butt because now we’re having to teach all of these new vaults to children and we feel less confident in how these new changes play into our personal philosophies. But at the same time, the changes are mostly good for the greater whole of trying to improve American gymnastics.

And fears of if you’re good enough to be a leader, while perhaps valid, are also in a way trivial. Whether you feel good enough or not, you’re what these kids got. So either step up or step down, either way, get out of the way because these kids are coming and have expectations of you. So make it up, make mistakes, make saves. Try something new, and give it adequate time in the experimenting phase before judging it’s worth as a drill or skill. When you’re stuck or need a second to catch your breath or even just help with setting up, let the kids lead- they’ll surprise you. Learn from those around you and don’t be afraid of a “double spot” or an extra hand to help out; we tell kids it’s okay if you need a little extra help getting a new skill, so it should be okay for us too.

Fears, nerves, and concerns can drive us to great things if we can accept their validity and then move on to push past them; sometimes it just takes time, creativity, and a little extra help every now and then.

 

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Asynchronous Class

I had no classes today which was kind of great. Usually, I have one class, which is my English class, but today we had an “asynchronous class” instead. Basically, this is a fancy way of saying, instead of going to a specific room for an hour and ten minutes of “class” we just had an assignment posted (it wasn’t like a live video lecture or anything, just a normal homework assignment on the shorter side) that we need to have finished by midnight tomorrow.

I find the name “asynchronous class” a bit superfluous, but I very much appreciate the concept. Our professor when looking at her schedule for the semester knew that this was going to be a big week for us with three chapters of Shakespear reading, watching our next Disney movie, and finishing our first paper by Friday; therefore, she scheduled this asynchronous class as a way for us to be able to take ownership of managing our time. We could get our work done where ever and whenever we wanted to today. It was great!

Because of this schedule, it allowed me much more flexibility today and I didn’t have to waste time moving to and from a classroom, which was especially nice since I have a psych test I’ve also been studying for today. I’m glad that we have at least one other asynchronous class baked into the semester schedule because I’m sure it will also be at a much needed time. I applaud my professor for her forward thinking and teaching philosophy behind this.

I think more teachers should adopt the concept of an asynchronous class every now and then. It’s a good way to build student ownership into the class work when there is a busy week happening.

A Lil’Pupper

My family has always been known for doing things kind of spur of the moment. Like when I took a week-long trip to NYC with 30 minutes notice. Or when we just went for a weekend to stay in a cabin by a zip line place. Or when we planned a trip to Italy within a  month’s times.

Well, this weekend we started fostering a puppy. We had been talking about getting a dog for a while and actively looking for the last few weeks but we hadn’t originally planned on getting a puppy. Saturday morning we were at a dog park meeting another dog who didn’t work out because she was too aggressive towards other animals and we knew we didn’t have the skills to help re-socialize her. Then as we were getting ready to leave we saw a bunch of tents where a shelter had set up and had some pups out, so we took a look and as the story goes we fell in love with this pup and are now fostering her.

So needless to say it’s been a pretty random weekend full of going back and forth between home and school for me. Then add to that tap rehearsal and seeing a musical at the new performing art center near my house.  It’s just one of those times where you can’t really tell how productive you are or aren’t being and that’s just been my mood all weekend.

Sometimes it’s nice though to have random things happen in your life even if it does through off your original plans. I enjoy my family’s habit of making random decisions, and hopefully, this one works out well. So far the pupper has been behaving very well and it really sweet and smart which is a good sign.

Slow Down

The first week or so of a new school semester really sets the tone for the rest of the semester in my opinion. For me, there has been a bit of drama, a bit of stress, a bit of rescheduling, a bit of fun, a bit of gymnastics, a bit of emailing, but primarily a lot of trying to work ahead. This weekend is a long weekend, and a crazy one for me, and whenever there is a long weekend I try to get ahead on homework to have the least amount of work possible over the weekend.

Honestly, I’ve been pretty impressed with my ability to stay overly on top of things thus far and it’s been a pretty great feeling. Though at the same time, sometimes it can be information overload.

Like on days like today where I’ve been working intensely for the last few hours on some stats problems that were annoyingly worded and involved tedious steps. Now I’m just kind of mind numb and when I try to think about everything that happened today, I instead just see numbers and phrases scrambled up flying in every which way. It doesn’t help that I really should be sleeping more then I have thus far…

It’s days like today where I wonder if it’s really best for me to have classes where I’m given almost all of my assignments for the semester up front. In a way it almost makes me more anxious because I never get that feeling of being done when I always know there’s something else I could be working on. Meanwhile, when only given a few assignments at a time, then when I finish those, I have to be finished because there is nothing else I know to do.

It’s really a trade-off. I enjoy the freedom to work ahead and therefore get more of a say in how I distribute my time, but I also constantly feel the need to be working. I’ve gotten better at giving myself breaks though, like when I had a cookie dough and Netflix party a few days ago as a celebration for getting more done then I expected to that day. I think tonight will also be a break day because I’m not sure if I can handle much more after that Stats homework; it was much more laborsome then my first two Stats assignments.

Even if you can keep working, that doesn’t always mean you should; slowly learning that despite my occasional work anxiety…

My Opinion on Online Classes

Online classes aren’t really a new thing, yet they seem to still get perceived as new which is odd to me. I officially got registered for the online version of a required CS class today and as I was walking with an upperclassman she asked me, “As a student with a passion for learner-centered education, I’m curious about your opinion on online classes.”

I guess this title is a bit of a misnomer because in actuality I don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other about online courses.

I use to very strongly be against them, but seeing as today I signed up for my 3rd ever online class, I realized that opinion clearly changed and now is more neutral.

I was against online classes because the depth of learning isn’t as powerful in an online class. I mean if you ask most students they’ll flat out say online courses are easier- that was at least a factor to my reasoning to register. Online classes may be interactive some, but the material is set and rigid and pretty surface level since there are no conversations where deeper questions can be posed and explored. The material is all given to you up front and you can finish as quickly as you would like/are able to; there is no “well the class seemed really interested on this topic so we pivoted the schedule to do a whole project unit where we came up with plans and prototypes and pitched to board members…”

You don’t sign up for an online course because of the content. I signed up for CS online course because the in-person course happened at a time I didn’t particularly like with the rest of my schedule. It meant I would have to rush from CS class across campus to Marta twice a week all semester and then uber to the gym to still be a bit late to coaching the practices I help with.

That’s really the big plus I see about online courses: time and location flexibility. That’s the reason I’ve now signed up for three different online classes since high school. It was always an issue of scheduling where I needed to take a class but didn’t have room in my busy schedule and the online option ended up being the perfect compromise.

So from the perspective of a student trying to get a credit out of the way and get a decent grade while doing other things, online classes are great. However, when I think about the quality of learning happening in most online classes, I find it to be sub-par.

It’s pretty easy to cut corners in online classes, and when you’re already not interested in the topic and just taking the course for credit sake, there’s little motivation to not want to just “get through it” as fast as possible.

Furthermore, I believe that a huge part of learning revolves around the social interactions and relationships built during the learning process. It’s really hard to successfully achieve those relationships in an online environment. Again, partially because there’s no real incentive to strive for that deeper level of learning. I consider myself to be an intrinsically motivated learner and a pretty good student, (yes, I believe those are different thing, but that is a different conversation), and even I don’t find myself caring to make the extra effort in an online course to really make it a remarkable learning experience; I just want the credit on my own time.

Obviously, this is all my own personal opinion, and some kids may, in fact, make that extra effort, though in my experience few do.

As I told the friend who asked me about my opinion, thus inspiring this post tonight, I believe that online courses are still a work in progress. I don’t have a strong opinion yet because I see the potential in them to be a great learning tool, though at this point I think they are just a great tool for the traditional system where learning has a more cut and dry vibe. The flexible time and space component to online courses is learner-centered in nature, though the context, course material, and assessment structure is still very much not.

Little Changes Creating Chaos

It’s amazing how the littlest things can sometimes make you so frustrated.

Tomorrow I’m going to a gymnastics coaches training at a camp in Tennessee. It was supposed to start tomorrow afternoon and end Saturday afternoon. This was going to be great because then we’d be back by Saturday night and I’d have time for last minute packing and getting stuff together before moving in on Saturday into my apartment for the school year.

Now the schedule has changed and the event goes through Saturday night and we won’t be leaving until Sunday, which I only just learned about 30 minutes ago! Right now this is just making me beyond stressed and upset.

We’re leaving later in the day tomorrow so I’ll still have the few hours I would’ve had on Saturday to get ready, but it’s more that this change is disrupting my train of thought. I prepared myself that I would get stuff done tomorrow and then have a last go at things Saturday night and Sunday morning and throughout the week I could still be thinking about stuff even if not actually at home to pack. Now I’ve lost that time and right now I in no way feel prepared to be ready to move in by tomorrow afternoon.

Yet I’m sitting here blogging and mentally panicking oppose to doing anything to fix the situation. So ya I’m a hypocrite, but sometimes when you have a last minute freak out you just need to freak out and trying to be productive would only make things worse.

Hopefully, your night isn’t as stressful as mine feels in this moment. Now I’m about to go distract myself further by making cookies because the last thing I wanted to do before moving in was to make homemade cookies and apparently this will be my last chance.

When Stuck in a Costco

I had a very productive day. However,  part of this day involved getting stuck at Costco for a few hours while waiting for our tire to be fixed. I couldn’t go anywhere, because the car was being worked on. I wasn’t with anyone that could consume my time by talking to me. I didn’t have internet access to be pulled into trying to do a bunch of different things online. And there wasn’t anything super amazing going on around me for me to be distracted by watching my surroundings.

I was just stuck.

The weird thing was that it actually felt kind of nice to be stuck.

It was time where there was nothing I really should do because there was so little that I could do. I had my phone, headphones, a notebook, pencils, and some other random things. But I couldn’t go on my computer or clean out my room or anything like that, so instead I just kind of chilled and did what I can. When you feel like there is very little that you can do, it makes the things you do accomplish feel like such a big deal.

I had to call back the GT pharmacy and then call CVS to work out a prescription thing, and I expected this to be a big hassel. I’m not a big fan of talking on the phone, especially in a situation like this where I thought I handled everything online and therefore go into the phone call knowing that something has already gone wrong so it seems bound for more problems to appear. Surprisingly though, the phone calls were very smooth and everything got worked out and I even was able to pick up my prescription right after getting un-stuck from Costco.

After the pharmacy got sorted out, I had some time where I read through and responded to emails on my phone. It’s a great thing I read those emails because it later inspired me to check on registration stuff again when I got home after Costco and CVS, and then I was able to somehow get into the English class I wanted/needed which was stressing me out all summer!

I was at Costco so long that I even had some extra time to just sit and listen to gymnastics routine music on repeat enough to start fine tuning some choreography I’m about to start teaching in the upcoming weeks. I’ve been too distracted once I get into the gym to just listen to the songs, and when I’m home I feel like I have “better things” to be doing, so this time was invaluable.

I’m not sure any of these productive things would’ve happened today if I hadn’t gotten “stuck.” I guess sometimes it can nice to just stay put with ample time and no distractions to get some of those random little things done that always seem to be shoved to the back of priority lists on a normal day.

 

Simply Lovely

Some nights you go have dinner with old friends and everything’s just great.

Doesn’t matter how long it’s been or how much we’ve changed over the years, we can always jump back into a conversation.

Tonight there’s no great moral lesson or new self-discovery; it was just a lovely night with people who make my life better.

Back to Reality

Today was my first full day back in Atlanta since mid-June. It was a fairly standard day for me being at the gym most of the time and then crashing my brother’s tap rehearsal.

Being back in Atlanta though, it hit me today how close it is to the summer being over. It’s about time for next semester to start and I don’t feel the least bit ready. It’s about time for classes, and projects, and coaching, and acro, and tap, and maybe theater though looking unlikely this semester sadly.

It feels like summer flew by and now it’s back to reality time of needing to get ready for the rest of this year.

I’m not really looking forward to going back to school which is kind of disappointing honestly. I feel like the past few years I’ve always been at least somewhat excited for school to start, even if just for the sake of seeing friends and teachers and a few classes and clubs I knew I could count on being great like Latin and Innovation Diploma. Nowadays though I don’t feel like there’s much I’m looking forward to in regards to school. It was kind of a sad discovery to have as I looked at my messy room and realized it was time to start packing, so now I’ve been trying to really process what might be a positive thing about going back to school but still struggling some…

I think I’ll be closer with my roommates this year which could be fun. I’m moving to the advanced tap group which is kind of exciting, though I still kind of feel like a bit of an outsider at times with the tap troupe because most of the people were besties before forming the troupe. Theater I don’t foresee me being as involved with this semester just due to time commitments with actually working a fixed schedule at the gym this year plus 18 credit hours of classes (which I’m really not excited about especially with still taking so many core courses still); I am excited though to do A Mid Summer Night’s Dream again in the spring. Engineers Without Borders will be interesting considering we’ve finished teaching the class with Paideia, which was what I had joined the team for in the first place, but we’re hoping to continue the education team we just haven’t worked out details so I should get a lot of leadership with that. I’m somewhat excited to start taking psych classes this semester, but “intro to psych” is considered to be sometimes a hard weed out course which makes me a little less excited.

So I guess really I just have a lot of mixed feelings about school starting so soon. I’m not really sure how to feel about some things, meanwhile not excited about most of my classes whereas I use to have more classes to look forward to. My conclusion at this point: I wish higher ed was more learner-centered.

Time to Practice

I find myself creating a list of things that I’d like to do, but then I never get around to working on them. Like playing the flute for example.
I’ve played the flute since 4th grade, but this past year I only practised a few times all year. I like playing music. It’s fun to test my fingers, breathing, and mind for how complex of songs I can play and see for how much time I can continue to play. It’s a practised skill though, so the more I practice the better my breath control and the longer I can play. I guess eventually though, the better you get, the more likely you are to stay at a more advanced level.
I was thinking about this while practising flute today for the first time in a while. I was impressed that I played for as long as I did – not really sure how long it was, but it was longer than I expected to be able to play. A similar experience happened when I decided to play soccer last night. I knew I’d be rusty considering I hadn’t played all year despite telling myself I’d play of fun in college, but surprisingly I wasn’t as rusty as I was expecting. A lot of the skills I had gained from playing over the past 16 years of playing must have somehow been ingrained into my muscle memory because, while I wasn’t great, I somehow managed to have decent control and footwork; the difference is now I’ve just been really sore today…
I love having time and easy access to just jump into old skills. It’s the time of year where I reassess what I’ve done in the past year and what skills and practices I want to bring more into my life again.